POWER TO TRUTH
by Pamela Conley Ulich
Reading the site NextDoor can be hazardous to your health or maybe give you a new found perspective — it all depends on you and your state of mind in these — live like you’re dying covid times.
We all have triggers in our lives.
That moment when all of the sudden you feel some emotions well up from deep within your heart and soul. Have you ever taken a moment to feel into that trigger instead of running from it (by literally running or getting on with your ever growing to-do lists in life) or numbing it with another cup … of or click of Netflix — — — insert whatever substance or distraction numbs you from that emotion.
This morning I read a post on NextDoor that triggered me. “Toxic work environment for Teen Girls” This post and replies to it about a local Healthfood place where many local kids especially girls got their first job — triggered me. Today, I did something different, I leaned into that trigger.
Various teens and people posted on Nextdoor and Instagram about their feelings from unwelcomed statements and actions of their boss and some customers. I also read another post that asked why those teens waited so long to say anything and “warned” all who posted anything negative that they could be prosecuted for libel and slander. This veiled threat telling those kids not to speak up was the final straw that got me triggered enough to write this.
Yes — I am a trained lawyer. Yes — I believe with my heart everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Yes — I am also a mother and believe that our daughters and sons need to feel safe and to be able to speak up when they feel someone is acting “creepy” or when they are hurt by actions and words of others.
Thank God — TRUTH is an absolute defense. Hopefully, all parties involved can seek the truth and be moved by it to do what is right. Make amends, forgive and do better.
So — why am I still feeling like I need to speak up?
Is it because I have children who are entering the work force now? Is it because I still have unresolved feelings about what happened to me when I was working in the trenches? Is it because I have been witnessing protests? Is it because my Mom recently passed away from Covid, and I want to protect the next generation before I pass away without saying anything?
I feel called to join in with the so many others who are saying enough is enough. It stops now — racism, sexism all isms. We need to find the courage, confidence, clarity and compassion to say — no more, enough is enough — let’s learn from mistakes and let’s do better.
When I was working at the Directors Guild of America (“DGA”) as an Associate General Counsel from 1994–1998, I was asked to take and record notes at the DGA Executive Board meetings probably because I was the youngest lawyer and my typing skills were better than other lawyers at the DGA.
I sat at the big round table at the DGA headquarters on Sunset Boulevard with a lap top computer. I kept my mouth shut, my ears open and my fingers typing as I listened to those who ran the DGA discussed the issues of the day. These issues ran the gamut from fighting for creative rights to fighting to share in the proceeds from the movies they helped create. I was honored to witness and record the noble causes that the mostly noble men and a few noble women were fighting for around the DGA.
I am forever grateful I had the opportunity to be in the “room where it happened”, but am also forever sorry that I did not speak up when one of those men sitting at that table asked me, “Who did you sleep with to get this job?”
I didn’t know how to respond to this question. I felt ashamed that someone would think that. Then I thought, is that what everyone else is thinking? I know what it is like to be someone who didn’t know then how to respond to a creepy boss who made statements that triggered me. I will give her a voice today.
In 1998, I left the DGA to work for the Screen Actors Guild where I was never asked that type of question (although I was asked why I had to take off early to get another shot for my infant — but that is an entirely different story).
Many asked me why I would ever leave that dream job at the DGA. Until recently, I probably never could express exactly why I left — until today, 22 or so years later.
I didn’t want to be in a hostile work environment where being a young female was a liability and not an asset. I just didn’t have the chutzpah and bravery to say what I was thinking because who was I to dare to question a great director? I am grateful I had that opportunity, and I forgive that director and hope his children and grand children are never asked that question.
I found my chutzpah today, and I applaud all who dare to stand up to power and pray that they may keep bringing truth to power.
So — it’s 2020 people. Is it time for you to speak truth today?
Love and gratitude — today and forevermore,
Pamela Conley Ulich
